138 Words on Father’s Day

This will be my first without my Dad. He’s by far the closest person I’ve ever lost, and his loss inspires the strangest feelings. I’ve only made very slight changes in my life since his passing. I have a new filter for the big decisions I make on a regular basis and it’s heavily influenced by him. My desire to tighten the amazing relationships I have with my Mom and Brother has strengthened. Most days I live on, un-phased by his passing. Others days, there are moments when I hit a wall and break. A movie. A song. Or the realization that when I want to tell him something that happened or ask for his opinion, I simply can’t. You can’t experience that feeling without spending ten minutes to get over the fact that he’s gone allover again.

5 responses

  1. I lost my dad 8 years ago this past April. I still can’t believe. This past Sunday (Father’s Day), I was mowing my lawn at the cabin upstate and a black and blue butterfly kept following me around the yard. I immediately thought of my dad. But, that was about the extent of it. Then later in the day, John asked me if I had seen a black and blue butterfly around. He had and thought of my dad. Strange. Then, several hours later, when we were leaving to head back to the city, I spotted the same butterfly hanging out on the side of the house, near the back door where we were leaving from. John said, “see if it lands on your hand.” I reached out to it and it did. Climbed right up on my hand. Amazing.

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